Telling the Parents
by GrnEydDvl
Summary: Baz should have figured that this is how his parents would officially find out he was dating Simon Snow. Even without magic, Simon still manages to go off on his life like an H-bomb. And Mordelia really needs to learn to knock. SnowBaz
1. Chapter 1

**This fic takes place after the end of Carry On. Enjoy :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Carry On or any of its characters. I only own my own ideas.**

 **SIMON**

"Are you sure it's ok?" I ask. I'm sitting on Baz's bed, watching him pack. Baz scowls. He's sick of this question.

"For the hundredth time Snow, yes, it's ok. What else are you going to do for Christmas?"

"Go to Penny's." Baz sighs. Loudly.

"Bunce is going to America. Do you really want to spend Christmas alone with the headmaster?"

"No. But at least Penny's family likes me. Your family hates me."

"Wrong," Baz says, adding another shirt to his trunk. "They hated you. They've warmed up to you considerably since you beat the Humdrum." And since I killed the Mage. Mostly since I killed the Mage. But Baz doesn't say it, even though we're both thinking it. He knows it still hurts for me to talk about it.

"But…" I start to protest, but Baz slams his trunk shut before I can finish.

"Look Snow, I want to spend Christmas with you. But it sounds like you don't want to spend it with me." I scowl.

"That's not true and you know it!" It's not. I want to spend Christmas with him. I really do. I don't even mind spending it with his family. I just don't want to be in the way. Baz's parents still don't know that we're dating. I think Baz has tried to tell them, but his dad always stops the conversation before it can get going. He doesn't want to hear it. And, despite what Baz says, they do still hate me. I know they do.

"Then come to Oxford with me," Baz says, coming over to sit next to me. "It'll be ok. I'll make sure it's ok. I'll even cast **Be our guest** if you want me to."

I can't say no to Baz. I've tried, but it's impossible. Especially when he looks at me like that. I take his hand and give it a squeeze.

"No, you don't have to do that. I'll come." Baz smiles at me and I lean in and kiss him. I just can't resist him. Even if he wants me to spend Christmas with his creepy family.

 **BAZ**

I can't believe I'm bringing Simon home with me for Christmas. I can't believe he's letting me bring him home for Christmas.

Simon has been to the hunting lodge in Oxford before. I brought him with me when I went to visit for a week over the summer. And for my stepmother's birthday. It was a disaster both times. My father doesn't know what to make of him so he alternates between ignoring him entirely and making snide comments to me when Simon isn't looking, and Mordelia keeps pestering him to show her his tail. (She's not supposed to know that he has one. She walked in on us one morning while I was casting invisibility spells. That girl needs to learn to knock.)

But I want Simon to come. I don't want to spend Christmas without him. And my family just has to get used to him. It's not like he's going anywhere. My father will have to own up to the fact that we're dating someday. I haven't told him so outright. I tried, but he just changes the subject every time the topic comes up. He's still in denial that I'm gay at all, and he certainly doesn't want to hear that I'm dating Simon Snow. Not that he has any real reason to hate him anymore, but old habits die hard.

We get into my car (Ferrari, hot rod red, graduation present), and head off. It's a beautiful day, warm for December, and the sky is a perfect crystal blue. Simon rolls down the window, letting his hair blow in the breeze, and we chat about nothing in particular. I love these moments. Simon and me, alone, just enjoying each other's company. There are a dozen spells I could cast to get us to Oxford faster, but I don't. I don't want to. This is the most peace Simon and I will get all Christmas, and I want to savor it.

I pull up to the hunting lodge and I hear Simon take a deep breath. Like he's preparing himself for a fight. I take his hand and give it a squeeze.

"It's going to be alright," I say. Simon smiles at me.

"I know." I want to kiss him, but I don't know who may be watching from the windows, so I refrain. Now it's my turn to prepare for battle.

"Ready?" I ask. He nods.

 **SIMON**

I like the hunting lodge so much more than the gothic mansion in Hampshire. It's still posh and pretentious and surrounded by a thick forest, but it's bright and sunny with lots of windows. The wood is lighter, the carpets are softer, and there are significantly fewer gargoyles.

Baz casts **May I take your bags** on our luggage to send it up to his room just as his stepmother steps into the foyer to greet us.

"Basil," she says, coming over to us. "Welcome home."

"Hello mother," Baz says, accepting a kiss on the cheek. "I hope you are well."

"Fine, thank you. Hello Mr. Snow." She still won't call me Simon. Neither of Baz's parents will. I think it bothers Baz more than me.

"Hi Mrs. Grimm," I say. "Thank you for having me."

"The pleasure is all mine," she replies, and I can't tell if she's just being polite or if she genuinely means it. Out of all of the members of Baz's family, I like her the most.

"Your father will be home soon Basil," she says to Baz. "Then we'll have lunch. Why don't you two settle in in the meantime?"

"We'll do that. Come on Simon." Even though Baz still calls me Snow most of the time, he always calls me Simon in front of his family. I think it's just a show of solidarity, but I appreciate it all the same.

I follow Baz to his room, then instantly collapse on his bed.

"You can't be that tired already Snow," Baz says, sitting down next to me. "We haven't even seen my father yet."

"Just give me a minute," I say, covering my eyes with my arm. "I'm mentally preparing myself." I can tell Baz is rolling his eyes even though I can't see him.

"Simon," he says, and his voice is gentle. "Thank you. For coming here. It…it really means a lot to me." I uncover my eyes and look at him.

"Of course Baz. I know how much your family means to you." Baz takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. I squeeze back.

I look around the room. It's on the top floor because it has fewer windows than the other bedrooms. (Baz doesn't like to admit that sunlight bothers him, but I know it does.) It's smaller than his old room, but it still has a grand, four poster bed with curtains and a stunningly carved antique desk.

"I wish you would get a couch up here." Baz frowns.

"You don't want to share the bed with me? We do it all the time."

"Of course I do. It's just…where do your parents think I sleep?" Baz scowls.

"Let them think what they want. I'm not hiding our relationship from them just because they refuse to acknowledge it." I grin and sit up.

"So you want to let them catch us snogging," I say, trailing my finger suggestively along Baz's collarbone. He shivers.

"No," he says, slipping his arm around my waist. "But it might make things simpler." I lean in and catch his lips in mine. He lets go of my hand to cup my face and I slide my hand into his hair, pulling him closer to me. We're so absorbed in each other that we don't hear the footsteps in the hall until the door flies open.

"Mum says lunch is ready…" Baz and I jump apart, but the damage has been done. Baz's eight year old sister Mordelia is standing in the doorway, open mouthed and gaping.

"KNOCK!" Baz shouts, and I can tell how flustered he is.

"I'm telling mum!" Mordelia yells back, then turns and runs down the hallway before Baz can say another word.

Baz stares at the now empty doorway for a few seconds, stunned speechless.

"Well, you did say it would be simpler this way," I say, hoping to lighten the mood. Baz gives me a death glare. I deserve it.

 **To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**BAZ**

This is bad.

Merlin, Morgana, and Methuselah this is bad.

I wanted to tell my parents about Simon. I really did. I do. But I didn't want them to find out like this. I wanted to ease them into it. Drop hints (I've been doing that for a year now, they're just warming up.) I wanted to explain it to them, calmly and gently. Now we're going to have the fight of the century. I look over at Simon and he looks just as panicked as I feel. He keeps raking his hands through his hair and his curls are all out of place.

I should have figured that this is how my parents would officially find out that I'm dating Simon. Even without magic, he still manages to go off on my life like an H-bomb.

"So," I say. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

"To face my parents." Simon cringes, but he stands with me and takes a deep calming breath.

"Let's do this," he says with more confidence than I can muster right now.

We head downstairs to the sitting room where Mordelia is still busy tattling on us.

"I'm telling you I saw them!" Mordelia says. "Basil and the Chosen One. They were _kissing_!" Simon and I step into the room, and my father glares daggers at me. I square my shoulders, plant my feet, and stick my chin in the air, trying to exude strength and confidence. I'm not ashamed. Beside me, Simon assumes a similar stance in solidarity and I feel a rush of gratitude and pride towards him.

"Mordelia," my father says. "Can you please give us a minute? Basil and I need to talk."

"But…" Mordelia protests, but my father cuts her off.

"Now Mordelia!" Mordelia pouts, but obeys. As she walks past me she sticks her tongue out at me. One of these days, I swear I'm going to drain her dry.

The silence in the room is deafening. I don't budge an inch, waiting for my father to make the first move. Finally, he looks me in the eye and says,

"Basilton. Would you like to explain yourself?"

 **SIMON**

I can't help it. Baz looks so fucking cool right now. He knows he's in for what will probably be the worst fight he's ever had with his parents, and he's just standing there like he's the fucking King of England. I'm familiar with that stance. He used to use it on me all the time. It's the, "I don't care what you think because I'm smarter and more handsome and more talented and just plain better than you in every way," stance. Luckily for me, I'm good at standing my ground and looking intimidating, so I do just that. If this is the approach Baz wants to take, I'm going to support him.

"Father," Baz says, and his voice is cool as ice. "Mother," he adds. "Simon and I are dating. And yes, it's serious." He pauses for a moment to let that sink in. His father purses his lips and narrows his eyes, which is an incredible display of emotion coming from him. His stepmother just looks faint.

"So what Mordelia said is true?" his father says. "She did see the two of you…" he trails off, casting around for the right word. "Cavorting."

"She really needs to learn to knock," Baz says, not budging an inch. "But yes, she did." Baz's father looks ready to explode. His face flushes and he loses all semblance of control.

"Have you lost your mind Basilton?" he shouts. "There are just so many things wrong with this. He's Simon Snow! The Mage's heir. Our enemy. Your enemy! And he's a boy. What about the family line Basil? You're the only living heir. And that's not even the worst part of all this." He glares at me, nostrils flaring. "He's a Normal." He spits out the word Normal like it's a particularly disgusting piece of spoiled food. "No Pitch has ever been with a Normal. Do you want to disgrace this family?"

I really want to point out that Baz's aunt Fiona dates nothing but Normals, but this is Baz's fight, not mine. My job is to stand at his side and support him however I can.

Baz is completely unfazed by these arguments. He's already formulated the answers to them.

"Father," Baz says, and his voice is dripping with swagger. "Simon is not our enemy. He is no longer the Mage's heir. He hasn't been for some time, not since he killed him." I wince inside, but I maintain my composure. "He also defeated the Humdrum, making him a hero, not an enemy. I see no reason why the families should continue to hate him.

"As for the family line, I am fairly confident that I am incapable of having children, even with a woman. Given my condition." Baz's father's eyes open slightly in shock. Baz and I have talked about this before so it's no surprise to me, but apparently he's never expressed this clearly to his parents. Or they just refused to think about it.

"And lastly," Baz continues, "Simon is not a Normal. He attended Watford, has more than adequate knowledge of spells and magic, and was the most powerful mage this world has ever known. Just because he sacrificed his magic to defeat the Humdrum does not make him a Normal."

I know Baz's arguments are sound. He had to repeat them to me a dozen times during the first few months of our relationship, back when I was so depressed about the Mage dying and losing my magic that I just wanted to run away from everything. And I know he's practiced them since, in the mirror, in anticipation of this very conversation. But Baz's father is having none of it.

"Basilton," his father says, "you have two choices. Either he leaves this house, or you do."

What?

Did he just…?

WHAT?!

I never expected this.

I expected a fight. I expected shouting and angry words and hurt feelings, and maybe even Baz and his father ignoring each other for the rest of the holidays, but I never expected him to _kick Baz out_! He can't. He can't do that. Baz loves his parents, he loves being a Pitch. A Grimm-Pitch (he's proud of both sides). He can't give up his family. Not for me.

And then I think about what would happen if Baz did give me up for his family, and I decide that I don't want that either. I can't lose Baz. He and Penny are all I've got. They're _my_ family. Plus, I love him too much. But I don't think I could live with the guilt, if Baz chose me. If I was the reason he had to abandon everything.

Baz seems to be in the same state I'm in. His proud, confident demeanor is slipping, and there's a hopelessness behind his eyes that makes me sick to see.

Baz opens his mouth, then closes it again, and he looks so lost and so pathetic that I want to turn away. But I don't. If I can't be here for him in this moment then I have no business being by his side. I can't take it anymore. I have to say something. This just isn't fair and I can't stand to see Baz treated this way.

"You have no right to force Baz to choose between the people he loves like this," I say. I'm so angry, I'm surprised sparks aren't flying out of my fingers, magic or no magic. Baz's father turns to me with rage to equal my own.

"And you have no right to speak to me that way! You are in my house and Basil is my son and you have no place here!"

"The hell I don't!" I shout. "I love your son and he loves you. That should guarantee me a place here, whether you like it or not."

Baz's father is so angry he's turning purple. I think he might actually go off on me (even though I've never seen another magician do that. I guess there's a first time for everything.)

"You!" he spits out, and his voice is venom. "Why you insolent…" But he never gets to finish his sentence, because at that moment, Baz's stepmother places a firm hand on his arm.

"Malcolm," she says gently. "He's right you know." All three of us gape at her.

"Basil is an adult," she continues. "And you have to accept that he is going to make choices that you may not agree with. But no matter what, he is still your son. Is it really worth losing him over this? Is that really what you want?"

I'm shocked stupid that Baz's stepmother is actually taking my side, but what's even more ridiculous is that it looks like his father is actually listening to her.

"Daphne," he says. "You really expect me to accept Simon Snow? The Mage's heir. A boy. A Normal!" She nods.

"If you want to keep your son, then yes, I do. I don't believe that you actually want to throw him out."

"I don't want to throw him out, I want him to come to his senses!" Daphne shakes her head.

"He's not going to choose us over that boy Malcolm. He loves him too much." I look over at Baz and he's completely choked up. I think I can even see tears in the corners of his eyes. Daphne gives him a warm smile.

"Don't look so surprised Basil. I may only be your stepmother, but that still makes me your mother. It was so obvious how much you cared for him last Christmas. And how happy you've been every time I see you two together. Don't think I didn't notice. I've been expecting this for some time."

Then she turns to me.

"Simon," she says, and I don't miss the use of my first name. "You are always welcome here."

"Th…thank you ma'am," I stutter, barely believing my ears. I look over at Baz and he's gob-smacked. I also think I see a tear roll down his cheek.

Baz's father is still smoldering, but it looks like he's not going to do anything to counter his wife. Finally, he scoffs.

"If you want to make poor decisions, then it's your life Basil. I can't stop you. But I need some time to process this. I'll see you all at dinner." And with that he storms out of the room, all haughty and graceful. (He's still Baz's father, even after a tantrum).

Baz looks so relieved, I think he's going to collapse. But instead, he stands up tall and proud and gives his mother the gentlest smile I've ever seen on his face.

"Thank you mother," he says. "Thank you." She returns his smile.

"Not at all. Now, shall we have some lunch?"

 **SIMON**

Baz's father doesn't come to lunch. I don't see him again until dinner, and he ignores Baz and me entirely. I feel wretched about it, so as we climb into bed, I decide to say something.

"I'm sorry," I say. "About your dad." Baz shrugs.

"It's ok. It's to be expected. I never thought he was going to approve right away. But he came and sat at the table with us. That's something." Baz takes my hand and gives it a squeeze.

"You were amazing today," he says.

"You're the amazing one. You looked so cool when you confronted your dad. Like nothing could stop you."

"But something did stop me." Baz looks down at our hands so he doesn't have to meet my eyes. "When father asked me to choose, between you and the family, I honestly thought I might die. My mind went blank, and I didn't know what to do." He squeezes my hand again and looks back up at me. "Thank you for sticking up for me Simon. You have no idea how much that meant."

"Well I couldn't just stand there and watch anymore. I've never seen you look more helpless." Baz laughs weakly.

"I've never felt more helpless." He gives me a soft smile.

"My stepmother's right you know. I would have chosen you. If she hadn't stepped in and stopped my father, I would have chosen you." It's my turn to look away.

"You think I want that? Do you really think I want you to give up your family?"

"It's not about what you want, it's about what I want, so I don't really think you have a say in the matter."

"I don't really think that's how this works." I retort. Baz laughs and leans forward to kiss me.

"I have something for you," he says. He reaches under his pillow and pulls out a gift. He must have put it there while I was in the shower. I look at him confused.

"But Christmas isn't until tomorrow," I say.

"It's not a Christmas present. It's an anniversary present." I'm dumbfounded. It's not like I forgot (ok, I forgot), but Baz just never struck me as the type of person who cared about things like that.

"But I…I didn't get you anything," I say, feeling completely stupid. Baz rolls his eyes.

"I don't care that you didn't get me anything. I just wanted to get you something, so I did. It's not a big deal. Go on now, open it." I do.

It's a picture of Baz and me. I've seen it before. Penny took it the day the three of us went to the zoo. Baz and I have our arms around each other and we're laughing hysterically. I love the picture because I've never seen Baz look so happy. I gasp and trace my fingers over Baz's face.

"I thought you made Penny delete this," I say. He did. When I asked her about it the next day, she said it was gone and apologized profusely when she saw the disappointment on my face.

"Not before I sent myself a copy," Baz says. "I didn't want Bunce to have a picture of me looking like that. But I couldn't just delete it outright. I've never seen you look so happy." I'm so touched I don't know what to say. I trace Baz's face again, overwhelmed by how joyful he looks in the picture.

"Baz, I…" I start to say, but Baz kisses me before I can finish.

"Happy anniversary Simon. Here's to many more." I grin like a madman and throw my arm around him.

"Happy anniversary Baz."

I don't think either of us are sleeping tonight.

 **Thanks for reading :) Please let me know what you think. I don't usually write fic for books, so I'm spreading out and trying new things :)**


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